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Posts Tagged ‘toilet’

An SU at the CU equals ewwwwwwww…

Posted by sdrury on December 28, 2009

This is the first in an ongoing series of missives that are meant to illuminate the deteriorating state of decorum and consideration towards our fellow man. The continuing disintegration of the interest in the common good, rather than the personal good, is further evidence that we are, in fact, doomed as a country, and eventually, as a race of humans.

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So. I’m at a coffee shop (not Starbucks, actually it’s The Coffee Underground) here in Greenville. I’m working on a freelance project on my laptop, listening to my iTunes library and generally minding my own business. The iced teas I’ve downed while tapping away on my keyboard have made their way to the section of my body that demanded immediate attention. Nature called.

The bathroom at the CU (the abbrevaition it ascribes for itself) is fairly standard as far as coffee shops go. A sink, a stall and a commode. As the latter two were occupado, I waited patiently by the sink. A gentleman emerged from the commode and he and I exchanged nods in the way that men unfamiliar with each other will do after they’ve just exposed they’re genitalia in close quarters. It’s a kind of half-smile, meant to make pleasant an unpleasant circumstance.

(not the commode in question)

As I arrived in the now vacant toilet, I instantly noticed that the previous tenant had abused the machine in such a way as to make it unusable for subsequent visitors. The detritus of his labors had been left untended. The dude peed all over the lid. I groaned, hoping for a sympathetic ear in the other person in the bathroom, but he was in mid-stream. So I uttered an expletive and left.

Emerging from the rest room, I was furious, not only at such an egregious lack of hygiene but by the false sense of fellowship created by the trade of glances when we passed shoulders. I was determined to confront the offender. I spotted him instantly, seated across from a member of the fairer sex. Perfect, I’ll humiliate him in front of his soon-to-be ex –girlfriend. But I paused. The coffee shop was crowded. The non-threatening music (Counting Crows?) and holiday season had forged a mood incompatible to confrontation. I thought about finking on him to one of the barristas. Or maybe just pull him inside and implore not to repeat such an indiscretion. I did none of these and instead returned to the rest room once it had emptied.

Once I returned to my seat—having washed my hands more thoroughly than I had in recent memory—I glowered at the SU (sloppy urinator). I am regular here and should our paths cross once again, in latrine or out, he shall be made fully aware of my umbrage and ordered to…make sure it never happens again. Or I’ll really get mad.

What should I have done? Vote in the poll below.

Posted in Humor, Life in Greenville, We're Doomed - Humanity | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

What should I have done in response to the sloppy urinator?

Posted by sdrury on December 28, 2009

Posted in Life in Greenville, We're Doomed - Humanity | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »